if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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