What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Youre mom is so dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My Butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a car? You build it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops