- Anti Joke

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

once you go black your credit goes wack

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! GAUH Your face looks tasty!! :D

Justin Beiber's Talent.

Nice belt.

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

A person from Singapore eats

Nickelback

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

once you go black your credit goes wack

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

Justin Beiber's Talent.

Nice belt.

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

A person from Singapore eats

Nickelback

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! GAUH Your face looks tasty!! :D

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too