A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Because she has down's syndrome

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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penis haha

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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