Matt is a Duster!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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You're tall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops