Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Women's rights

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everybody loves raymond

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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whats my name? Matt

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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