Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Choir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women Sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops