'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

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ok

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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