Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops