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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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