Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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Guess what? Bananas

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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no pun intended

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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hi anti joke

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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