What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

to get to the other side.

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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