Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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SNAPPLE!

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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a

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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