What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Sarah Palin

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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