What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops