Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats yellow? lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops