What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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