What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Black...

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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