Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops