how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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im not food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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