What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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