roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

world society

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

A man... walks.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

I am a women

Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

I like your hair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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