Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

thumb_up thumb_down -21

McDonald. It's run by Lawers

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops