What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

anal seepage

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops