Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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