- Anti Joke

Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

whats black and red all over? a chalk board

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

andrew wagner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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