Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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