A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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im gay because im gay

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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170

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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