Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Women's rights.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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