What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Sarah Palin

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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hi, im sober.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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