Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -71

How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

thumb_up thumb_down +108

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down -8

???????????? WTF?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

thumb_up thumb_down +201

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops