Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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People with cancer.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops