There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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