- Anti Joke

a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

.....'',;;::cccllllllllllllcccc:::;;,,,''...'',,'.. ..';cldkO00KXNNNNXXXKK000OOkkkkkxxxxxddoooddddddxxxxkkkkOO0XXKx:. .':ok0KXXXNXK0kxolc:;;,,,,,,,,,,,;;,,,''''''',,''.. .'lOXKd' .,lx00Oxl:,'............''''''................... ...,;;'. .oKXd. .ckKKkc'...'',:::;,'.........'',;;::::;,'..........'',;;;,'.. .';;'. 'kNKc. .:kXXk:. .. .................. .............,:c:'...;:'. .dNNx. :0NKd, .....''',,,,''.. ',...........',,,'',,::,...,,. .dNNx. .xXd. .:;'.. ..,' .;,. ...,,'';;'. ... .oNNo .0K. .;. ;' '; .'...'. .oXX: .oNO. . ,. . ..',::ccc:;,.. .. lXX: .dNX: ...... ;. 'cxOKK0OXWWWWWWWNX0kc. :KXd. .l0N0; ;d0KKKKKXK0ko:... .l0X0xc,...lXWWWWWWWWKO0Kx' ,ONKo. .lKNKl...'......'. .dXWN0kkk0NWWWWWN0o. :KN0;. .,cokXWWNNNNWNKkxONK: .,:c:. .';;;;:lk0XXx; :KN0l';ll:'. .,:lodxxkO00KXNWWWX000k. oXNx;:okKX0kdl:::;'',;coxkkd, ...'. ...'''.......',:lxKO:. oNNk,;c,'',. ...;xNNOc,. ,d0X0xc,. .dOd, ..;dOKXK00000Ox:. ..''dKO, 'KW0,:,.,:..,oxkkkdl;'. 'KK' .. .dXX0o:'....,:oOXNN0d;.'. ..,lOKd. .. ;KXl. ;XNd,; ;. l00kxoooxKXKx:..ld: ;KK' .:dkO000000Okxl;. c0; :KK; . ;XXc 'XXdc. :. .. '' 'kNNNKKKk, .,dKNO. .... .'c0NO' :X0. ,. xN0. .kNOc' ,. .00. ..''... .l0X0d;. 'dOkxo;... .;okKXK0KNXx;. .0X: ,. lNX' ,KKdl .c, .dNK, .;xXWKc. .;:coOXO,,'....... .,lx0XXOo;...oNWNXKk:.'KX; ' dNX. :XXkc'.... .dNWXl .';l0NXNKl. ,lxkkkxo' .cK0. ..;lx0XNX0xc. ,0Nx'.','.kXo ., ,KNx. cXXd,,;:, .oXWNNKo' .'.. .'.'dKk; .cooollox;.xXXl ..,cdOKXXX00NXc. 'oKWK' ;k: .l. ,0Nk. cXNx. . ,KWX0NNNXOl'. .o0Ooldk; .:c;.':lxOKKK0xo:,.. ;XX: .,lOXWWXd. . .':,.lKXd. lXNo cXWWWXooNWNXKko;'.. .lk0x; ...,:ldk0KXNNOo:,.. ,OWNOxO0KXXNWNO, ....'l0Xk, .dNK. oNWWNo.cXK;;oOXNNXK0kxdolllllooooddxk00KKKK0kdoc:c0No .'ckXWWWNXkc,;kNKl. .,kXXk, 'KXc .dNWWX;.xNk. .kNO::lodxkOXWN0OkxdlcxNKl,.. oN0'..,:ox0XNWWNNWXo. ,ONO' .o0Xk; .ONo oNWWN0xXWK, .oNKc .ONx. ;X0. .:XNKKNNWWWWNKkl;kNk. .cKXo. .ON0; .xNd cNWWWWWWWWKOkKNXxl:,'...;0Xo'.....'lXK;...',:lxk0KNWWWWNNKOd:.. lXKclON0: .xNk. .dXd ;XWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNWWNNNNNNNNNWWNNNNNNWWWWWNXKNNk;.. .dNWWXd. cXO. .xXo .ONWNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNK0ko:'..OXo 'l0NXx, :KK, .OXc :XNk0NWXKNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNX00NNx:'.. lXKc. 'lONN0l. .oXK: .KX; .dNKoON0;lXNkcld0NXo::cd0NNO:;,,'.. .0Xc lXXo..'l0NNKd,. .c0Nk, :XK. .xNX0NKc.cXXl ;KXl .dN0. .0No .xNXOKNXOo,. .l0Xk;. .dXk. .lKWN0d::OWK; lXXc .OX: .ONx. . .,cdk0XNXOd;. .'''....;c:'..;xKXx, .0No .:dOKNNNWNKOxkXWXo:,,;ONk;,,,,,;c0NXOxxkO0XXNXKOdc,. ..;::,...;lol;..:xKXOl. ,XX: ..';cldxkOO0KKKXXXXXXXXXXKKKKK00Okxdol:;'.. .';::,..':llc,..'lkKXkc. :NX' . '' .................. .,;:;,',;ccc;'..'lkKX0d;. lNK. .; ,lc,. ................ ..,,;;;;;;:::,....,lkKX0d:. .oN0. .'. .;ccc;,'.... ....'',;;;;;;;;;;'.. .;oOXX0d:. .dN0. .;;,.. .... ..''''''''.... .:dOKKko;. lNK' ..,;::;;,'......................... .;d0X0kc'. .xXO' .;oOK0x:. .cKKo. .,:oxkkkxk0K0xc'. .oKKkc,. .';cok0XNNNX0Oxoc,. .;d0XX0kdlc:;,,,',,,;;:clodkO0KK0Okdl:,'.. .,coxO0KXXXXXXXKK0OOxdoc:,.. ...

What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops