His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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homosexuals are gay

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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How old is your mom Dead

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops