You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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