What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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What's the deal with brown?

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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