Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops