I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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jcjdj

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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