Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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I just drank a cola.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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