So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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