a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops