What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

knock knock whos there? nobody

you first

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

Vagina.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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