Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops