Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops