Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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hi, im sober.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Sarah Palin

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Oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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