What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops