What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

John Cena for president

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

tom pauling

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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