Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops