God

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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