Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

What is red? A rock painted red

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

What did david give back? Nothing.

1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

whats red and falls from a tree an apple

What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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