what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +20

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the deal with brown?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops