This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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;iub

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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The Game.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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