My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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the holocaust

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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