Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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